The perfect crime can leave you flabbergasted, thrilled, chilled, amazed, or just downright impressed. But let's face it: Most lawbreakers end up shooting themselves in the foot—and honestly, that's way more fun to read about. So here we pay tribute to the comic blunderers whose antics land them in police cuffs faster than you can say "He went thatta way!" And if it won't solve the mystery of why these miscreants do what they do, at least it will aid and abet you in the laughter department.

There's a diverse and crazy crowd of fumblers and bumblers in our wacky lineup. Some fools call the cops on themselves, or dial 9-1-1 to ask where they can buy drugs. There's even a real-life Cinderella story about a girl forced to stay outdoors and do all the work while her stepsisters lived in comfort.

You be the judge: What should happen to the young and the lawless—little three-and six-year-olds who burglarized a house and played with their goodies right across the street from the scene of the crime? (Mom was at a parenting class.) Another thief left his resume in the car he'd stolen. Yet another held up a bank . . . but wrote the note demanding wads of cash on his pay stub.

We all know 9-1-1 is for emergencies—but fair warning: A bad manicure doesn't qualify. One woman was put behind bars briefly for calling the number four times . . . because she wasn't satisfied with the length of her nails.

And for a little extra credit, take the Celebrity Crime Quiz, which tests your knowledge of a cast of egodriven stars who think they're above the law.

If you're in search of crime and merriment, this book's for you!

Joe Rhatigan has authored more than sixteen books for children and adults, including Don't Unravel When You Travel and Out-of-This-World Astronomy. He has also produced several best-selling books and series, including 101 Places You Gotta See Before You're 12!, The Boo Boo Book, and the My Very Favorite Art
Book series. Joe has been a poet, a teacher, marketing manager, and a newspaper boy. He lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with his wife and three children.