Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, for your consideration...

The law can be scary, the law can be lenient or cruel...and, at times, the law can just be downright, unbelievably wacky. Be assured: every statute in this entertaining and illustrated compendium is absolutely real. They come from down the block and around the world, and they prevent us from no-nos like eating pies baked by grandmothers in non-certified kitchens; accidentally getting a glimpse of a sweaty naked person through a window; and being subjected postmortem to the tacky taste of any loved one who would dare put plastic flowers on our graves instead of fresh ones.

The jaw-dropping regulations cover animals (no licking hallucinogenic toads in Missouri); transportation (do not run out of gas on Germany’s super-speedy autobahns); public decorum (kissing and hugging in public forbidden in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia—but in India, it will just get you fined); house rules (no flushing after 10PM in a certain Swiss apartment building), food (only certain pizzas in Italy can be called Margheritas); and much, much more. And the best place to get a job? Portugal—because you can’t be fired. One thing that’s absolutely allowed: laughing hard and long at these laws!

Don’t do these over there!

• It’s illegal to molest butterflies in Pacific Grove, California.
• Don’t even think of driving cattle through London.
• Stay off the bus in Bend, Oregon if you smell.
• Until recently, it was illegal to wear pants with hip pockets in South Carolina. The well-positioned pouches could be used as a hiding place for a hip flask.
• No bongs can be sold in Israel.
• Minnesotans, put on your pajamas: sleeping naked is forbidden!
• In Newark, taxi drivers are required to keep their mustaches trimmed.
• In Hawaii, it is illegal to cook food in lava.
• An elementary school in Ontario banned homework, cited the lack of evidence that it improves or increases academic achievement.
• In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill Sasquatch (as Bigfoot is called in that area) should you actually encounter him...her...it.
• Technically, it’s illegal to sell lemonade at a stand in front of your home.